hmm..these 2days of work is kinda tedious and tiring..have been with the toddlers for the past 2days..must really have the "jing shen"(energy???) to take care of them..cox they really need a lot of attention from the teachers..haha..but no matter wat..will still cherish every moment spent with these kids who are as sweet as Honey!!! ;p yeah!! meeting up with vicky they all soon! cant wait! miss them all!!! =P well..think i shall stop here..eyes are starting to close..hahaha..Goodnight! =)

Like an empty shell..

hmm..time to time..just feel so empty and restless..spend most of my time sitting alone and "stone" there..just dunno wat to do..

wednesday i'll be going baq to work..but how am i able to face all the small kids over there..i guess everytime i hold their soft and tiny hands..pat them to sleep..feed them and sing songs with them..my heart will starts to ache..cox i dunno aft end of march or early april,will i be able to do that again... ..

but guess life still goes on and perhaps there are even more things coming up for me to learn..so shall cherish these upcoming two months of every moment spent with all these lovely kids..cox they're really great! =)

tml? stone again alone at home? take a stroll at the park? stay at home all day long? haha..seriously no idea now..shall see how ba..but one thing for sure..breakfast with mum will nvr be missed! =)

just feel like staying at home and going nowhere else.. apart from home,there is another place i'll visit will be the park at my house.. sitting there alone really feels great..cox i can be alone and just cry out secretly but freely without anyone knowing... i dunno why..but frankly speaking..i still cant accept the fact..the fact that all my long hours of studying have gone to waste.. my effort..my everything.. just wanna stay at home so that no more questions will be asked about my O result.. i guess time will heal the wound on its own..and rite now,it is wat i really need... but i guess..i'll nvr be able to accept this fact..this true fact that has already make its stand clearly.. *time* is all i really need rite now to accept this cruel yet true fact.. .. ='(

haiz..seriously disappointing..i really did studied..but why does it turn out this way???

*swollen eyes*..

tired..feeling rotten..feeling in a mess..feeling confused..all sorts of feelings..but i just cant find a real reason why... ...

hmm..ytd night couldn't really get to sleep properly..felt guilty as i open up a Virus file on msn..den when my bro came baq,though i have already climbed up to my bed,but i thought it was my responsible to tell him right away rather then telling him today..expected..he did told me off..but other than saying sorry..i didnt know wat else to say..no matter wat he said me is true..im really stupid enough la..knowing that he has been busy rushing for work aft his sch ends and come home late the past few days..i still create such problems to increase his burden..but i really didnt mean it..thats why no matter wat he scolds me..i wont mind.. cox as long as all his file and folders are alright and not affected by the virus,then to me,its ok le..bet he must be really angry..dunn dare to talk to him liao sia..haiz..

aft that,he just told me to go baq sleep..so went up to my bed..then tears just started to drop..but i know,its my fault and i can blame no one else,but me..then when my eyes were getting tired,i was abt to fall asleep le..but i suddenly heard crying sound of the toddlers in the childcare..just kept hearing it for quite some time..then aft that...slept le..haiz..and today morning went to the childcare work,my headache came again..sianz..

anw..tml is the judgement day le..really nervous and scared sia..think i wont have a good night sleep again tonight...just hope everything will go on smoothly..

Good Luck People! =)

received a last min call in the morning at ard 8.45am from the childcare asking me to go down and help out..was actually on my way walking home from the market there..still thought of going jogging once i reached home..haha..instead,went home to bath and changed and rush down..reached there at 10.05am..haha..so work ended at 6.30pm..today is a really tiring day..was with the nursery..the other senior teacher knock off at 5pm..so for the rest of the 1 and a half hours,i was alone with the 15 students..wah..this grp of students are really hard to handle with..especially that very one guy..can really make u go crazy..hahaha.. =D but aft he left at 5plus going 6pm,wah..really sia..a sigh of relief....hahaha..its not that im being bad..but even all the senior teachers cant tahan him..needless to say,a junior teacher like me..haha..so once he went home,it was all at peace sia..just him alone can create such chaotic scene...so now u can imagine if he's ard,how the rest of the students will follow him...its something u wont wanna be caught in a situation like that.. *never....

aft i knock off,saw vicky and zhuang wei's msg..Both msg are, "Hey..Pls be in the hall by 2 this thur for judgement day..Thank you and pls pass this msg around..Good luck"..at that moment,i was like blank sia..dunno how..haha..really cant imagine how wednesday night would be like..sleepless night? hahaha..not sure too..Hopefully everything will really be alright and go on smoothly.. =)

*Good Luck to All my fellow Classmates/Friends ,receiving their O results too.. :)

oh ya..will be remaining as Relief Teacher..but this time round..it'll all be stable as I'll be working everyday.. =) No more last min call to go for work or being too bored at home..hehe..and the pay will also be better than Assistant Teacher's pay..hehehe.. =p But as long as can work everyday,be it Regular Relief Teacher or Assistant Teacher,it doesn't matter at all.. =)

*Feeling better than usual.. =)

as usual..went to redhill market with mummy in the morning for breakfast..its a daily routine,i guess..haha..went i reached home,it was starting to get bored..so grab an Ice-Cream and eat! =) *Yummie! ;p aft that,went down to the park and jog 5rounds..this time round,weird thing was there isn't anyone jogging or strolling at the park..perhaps its becox its already 11plus le..yet,it was not sunny at all..haha..initially,i was kinda scared sia..cox its kinda quiet and there isn't anyone..but aft running 2 rounds..didnt really feel that tension..so just went on and on..haha..only when i was about to finished my 4th round, there was a middle aged man started jogging very very slowly..haha..aft finishing 5rounds,started jogging on the spot and cool down..then home sweet home.. =) then waited for 2pm to arrived and know wat? its time for KOREA DRAMA on CHANNEL U!!! ;) haha..today's show was the "Stairways to Heaven"..wah..super sad and touching sia..just like to see all this sad sad,touching and nice/sad ending de show..dunno why..haha..too happy de or not much meaning de i wont watch..just love sad and touching ones! ;p hmm..then aft finished watching was a bit sian..how i wish can continue watching sia..like a nvr ending story..hahaha..but aft that, just slack a bit.. then had my dinner at 6plus..aft that,went down to the park again..this time,went there to stroll for a while and sat there alone and stared at the sky..at the same time..was waiting for my mum..went home aft that..but today was kinda good day for me..feeling better than usual.. =)

haha.. =)

received a call in the morning from the childcare saying that they need one passport size photo of me..then went to search see if i still have any not..but end up,dunn have le..so thought of going bukit merah central to take..at the same time,i also need to bring my big aunt to the bank..so went to lengkok bahru and bring her there at ard 12plus..my second aunt staying beside her unit also joined us.. =) this is my first time going out alone with my two aunts..usually mummy will be there..but becox she's busy with her work and didnt have time to bring my big aunt to the bank,i told her to leave it to me..haha..most funniest part is my hokkien also ok ok only..cant talk very smoothly..so when i talk to my big aunt,i a bit anyhow anyhow one lorz..hahaha..ji teh ji teh like that..hahaha! xD but hopefully she still understand..hehe.. =P but im thankful that my second aunt tag along..cox at least she still can speak a bit of chinese..haha..and she can direct translate to my big aunt very smoothly.. xD so aft they've settled their things,they sat down at the hawker centre to drink soya bean drinks..so i told them to slowly drink,i go off for a while..so quickly took this opportunity and go take the passport size photo..wah..4piece $6 sia..no choice le la..cox the childcare needs it asap so that they can send he application form to the headquarters soon..so just take lorz..haha..then aft that went baq to meet my both aunt and help them carry the groceries they bought from NTUC and went baq to their house..aft which,it was abt 2plus le..so i told them i need to go off first and so ,went down straight to the childcare..gave them the photo le then go home le..

wah..quite tired sia..plus it was pretty hot and warm today sia..cant stand the weather..haha..but at least everything is completed and settled,then its fine.. =)

as for ytd..went out and meet up with a fren.. =) it had been a long time since we last met too..so was really happy to be able to meet up again..haha.. :)

*Happie! ;)

haha..received a very Good News in the morning that lights up my entire day.. =)

this morning at about 8plus,the NTUC childcare called me and say that they need me to go back and fill up an application form..becox they said that i might be able to work daily starting from nxt week as a Assistant Teacher and no more Reliefing Teacher le..when i heard this news,i was super happy la..and at that time,i was with my mum at the market aft having our breakfast and started to walk about..when i saw the caller id written NTUC childcare,i still tot they need teacher and so,last min called me..haha..but still,everything is not confirm yet..cox i still have to wait for the call from the Headquarter of the NTUC childcare centre located at Geylang there to call me down for an interview to see if im able to pass not..but dunn really have much confident..cox im very scared of this type of interview..plus this time is a more serious kinda thing..so kinda worried..just hope everything will move on smoothly ba.. =)

well..aft receiving this piece of good news,dunno why my hands just auto msged and shared this piece of great news with that one person.. =) haha..but dunn think too much..this one person is just a fren of mine.. =)

hmm..so thats about it ba..nothing much happened..cox by just receiving such a great news at the start of the day,and having that one fren of mine encouragement and support,has really made my day.. =)

*Touched by their words and actions.. :)

well..have been working ytd and today at the childcare..hmm..guess everything was ok ba..quite smooth and alright..haha..ytd was with the playgroup since morning till 3pm..then aft which,go to the toddlers to help out till 6pm..then knock off! =) haha..today was with the playgroup for a short period of time in the morning..then aft which..went to K1 to help out..the kids at K1 are all more or less friendly and adorable..today i was kinda happy beocx they show me how much they like me by saying "i love you,teacher sharon." followed by a hug..wah..super touching sia...hahahaa! =D then i was like a bit pai seh..first time so many people say they love me la..hahaha..initially,i didnt say baq "i love you" to them..cox i dunno leh..feel so weird or pai seh to say out that 3words..maybe not used to it ba.. =D but aft that..they kept saying the 3 words to me..so i tot it was of my courtesy to say it baq to them..so...hahaha..all my love has been distributed to them liao.. =) hahaha.. xD

hmm..but think for this week,only ytd and today they need help ba..so the next few days will be mostly staying at home..unless there's last min call saying that they need help or if not, meeting up with frenz..haha..so shall see how it goes ba.. =)

Lethargic..

Hmm..bad, bad and still bad..my muscles on the legs started aching since last night..and when i woke up this morning,my whole body was aching sia..think i over strain my muscles for running 8rounds ytd morning..haha..now my whole body like super jelly la..but i must prevent laughing..cox if i laugh,the muscles near the stomach there will be super pain sia..then whenever i sit down and walk down the stairs,my leg muscles will ache..aiya..any movement i made just makes me looks like an old granny..walk also slow..think too much lactic acid in my muscles liao..hahaha.. =D so must rest more so as to take in more oxygen to break down these nasty and irritating lactic acid..haha..sianz...

*fruitful day! =)

as usual,woke up at 7.05am today..left home with mum for breakfast at about 7.30am to redhill market..but today we were slightly,or i should say even earlier then before.. =)

and the most happiest and miracle thing that happened was,i finally went jogging in the morning at about 9am when i reached home..haha..ran 5rounds continuously..jog on the spot for 2mins..and went another 3rounds non-stop..so a total of 8rounds today..i think my last time exercising was during the period of napha test around april..aft that the rest of the PE lesson were all games..haha..so didnt run much..so it has been super long since i last went for running le..past few days have been trying to push myself to go for running,but end up,i failed..haha..but today,despite all the fears of running alone in the park,i still went..hehe.. ;p so super happy! and for me,running is really a super great pill for releasing all my stress and troubles..though all of it comes baq rite after my run..but at least,i get to be stress free for these short period of time.. =)

aft which..came home and bath and went to bugis alone..initially,the purpose of going there was to check out one of the ladies boutique in bugis junction that published on the paper that they are looking for part or full time sales assistant..end up i went there..they said they want a full time de..so....hahaha..then aft that went to bugis street to walk walk to see if there's any clothes i like to buy for chinese new year..at that time was around 12plus le ba..and still,not all the shops are opened..so went to seh ling long..i mean go and walk round and round..hahaha..den managed to buy a yellow dress till knee level..super to my budget..hahaha.. xD and i like it too..so i bought it.. =)

hmm..that's about it ba..shall update again soon.. =)

*Good and Bad..

haha..whenever im working at the childcare,i'll feel that time passes very fast..so needless to say about today too..haha..was at the toddlers today..and there are some new comers while a grp of the previous toddlers have now,promoted to the playgroup..but overall,today was a smooth and good day for me.. =)

hmm..today then i realised that the pay was $6/hr and not $5/hr..cox earlier on,the teacher in charge told me was $5..and actually i found it good enough le..but today when i went to sign in this morning,i saw the paper written $6/hr..and i was shocked but happy la..hehehe.. =p cox usually when i sign in,the hourly rate de pay wont be written..so i've always assume its $5 as wat the teacher told me..but i got to see it today was becox actually they were abt to send the form to the head quarters there le..but due to last min they called me ytd to work today,so they didnt send..and i managed to see it..hehe..sounds a bit complicated sia..i also dunno wat im talking..i dunno how to explain through here..only i myself knows..hahaha..too bad..my eng not good..so cant really bring out wat im trying to say.. ;p

hmm..as usual will wake up at 7.15am tml to accompany my mummy to market to eat before she goes to work,while i go home after our breakfast..haha..and my student bus concession can only be used till 14th january..then aft that will be paying adult fare liao..sianz..but not only me la..all my classmates also..haha..so must be prepared liao.. =)

saw min er's blog saying that furama will not have much functions aft this week..and they'll most probably use those regular part-timers..so think i also cant go baq liao..so must continue to look for other part time de jobs ba..haha..i think my house is stacked with The Straits Times le..have been buying Straits Times everyday sia..just to look at the recruit section..haha..

so i guess tml aft breakfast,will be engrossed in looking at the papers again...

Hope Tml Will Be A Better Day.. :)

haha..today morning receive the call from the childcare,asking me to go baq help tml..cox by rite this whole week i nvr work de,but think maybe suddenly not enough teachers ba..haha..like that also good la..then i can go baq liao..hehe.. =p dunn have to wait till next week then can work..haha..hopefully next week i can work for the whole week..but have to wait till next mon then she'll confirm with me again..haha..

just came back from Bukit Merah Central with my mum to pay my phone bill..and guess who i saw on the way to the NTUC??? its my NEPHEW!! AHHH!! so HAPPY la! :) hahaha.. xD

he's still as cute and active as before..haha..love him man! ;p

hmm..kkz la..shall go to bed soon..have to wake up early tml..start work at 8.30am..and ends work as usual..hahaha.. =D Goodnight! =)

*still considering whether to go baq furama not..headache..*

*23rd December 2007..

On Ming Ming's Birthday at Esplanade..A group photo of us..we were actually hiding under the shelter away from the rain.. xD We all truly had a great time..Happy Birthday,my Favourite Ming Ming! =)

hehe..this effect is kinda scary..haha..

but me and yi pei pei were taking happily away..hahaha! =D

haha..that's about it on the 23rd of Dec 2007 on Ming Ming's Birthday.. =)

Hopefully there'll be a class chalet whereby the whole class can reunite again! ;)

Sianz...

these few days have been rotting at home..seriously bored to the max sia..dunno if i should go baq furama not..cox actually wanted to go baq de..but got some reason that held me back all these while..so dunno how..sianz..i wanna faster make money sia..help both my parents with the family income..i always feel so bad that im unable to help them..but if i were to go baq furama work like last yr,i could have already solve a lot of their problems le..everytime i think of this, seriously upsets me.. ...

i wanna stay at where im staying now..i dunn wanna move to a place and neighbourhood where im totally unfamiliar with and its super far from where i am now..

I even had a nightmare last night about moving to a new house which i left home and wanted to rent a room outside due to the new house was scary and weird..im not kidding..its the first time ever of me having such a bad dream about moving house..though i've moved house for quite few times le..

but this time,im really scared.. ....

although this moving house issue is not confirmed yet..

but.. ..

i really really wanna stay at where i am now very badly... ...

Keeping mum is Better than Saying out..

hmm..After some time of thinking, I've decided to forget the unhappy past or even let go of those impossible things that have been tieing on to me for all these while..so shall start afresh and get back again on my feet..no more waiting and imagining of things that will never ever happen..i really wanna free myself for once and for all..

i really feel im useless..seriously..pathetic to the max...but sometimes,somethings are better left unsaid..

*A long day..

just now in the morning at about 10plus started preparing to go to collect my bursary..iron my uniform and doing those la la zhap zhap stuffs..hahaha! =D After so long for not wearing the uniform,really felt kind of weird and awkward wearing it today..haha..went there around 2.40pm..while waiting to take my bursary,was yawning all the way..so tiring and long sia..i was the last 20plus de..sit there till wanna sleep liao..haha..luckily my dad faster called out my name from behind of the hall aft i've collected my bursary..if not the people there will sure ask me to go baq to sit and wait till the end of the event..hahaha! thanks daddy! =) so my mummy,daddy and me shared an umbrella and walked to the bus stop..haha..for the first time the 3 of us were sharing an umbrella..so happy..though we still got drenched..hahaha! xD

den aft which,came home straight and get changed to go to sentosa..meet wen yan and ming ming at 7pm at Vivo City to take the monorail to the beach station..haha..the BBQ was kinda fun..cox to me,as long as there is a gathering,i'll be more than happy le..haha..didnt really eat much..ate 3 chicken satays,1 sliced sotong and a potato..not forgetting coke as my drink.. =) had some chat and hang around with one another..haha..and thank you vicky and yi pei for bringing us to the BBQ place from palawan beach..cox it was super wulu sia..haha..but still,Mr Chia is still the same..nvr really changed alot..haha..then at abt 9.30pm,we left the place..so all of us went to vivo to slack and see the scenery..hehehe..aft that Zhuang Wei suggested to go arcade..so all of us followed..and eventually,all of them played,except for me..cox i prefer watching others play..hahaha.. =D then me and ming ming left the place at 10.43pm..haha..both of us also quite tired le..cox earlier on Vicky and Yi pei they all left le,then me and ming ming dunno wanna go with them not,cox Zhuang still playing..then like not very nice to leave him there, when he's still playing half-way..so decided to wait..den aft that he joined teti they all le,so we both quickly go off le..cox ming ming tml got work..haha..

overall,a very nice and fun day..though its tiring,but being able to see them again,the feeling is really nice..haha..i guess the nxt time we'll be able to see everyone as a class is when we're going to collect our GCE 'O' Level result..wah.. super fast sia..so scary... =/ hopefully everything will go smoothly ba..shall put a stop here..Goodnight.. =)

*Tiring.. ...

wah..have been busy working at the childcare for the past 3days..kinda tiring sia..lazy and too tired to come online too and update my blog..haha..as for nxt week,i dunn have to go to work..cox i guess they have enough teachers ba..haha..nvm la..shall wait den..at least can take a short break at the moment.. =) hmm..past 3days I was with the toddlers and playgroup..the most challenging class compared to the other classes whereby the kids are already more to grown up and are able to speak clearly and listen to instructions..whereas the toddlers and playgroup,all of them are still in the process of learning how to talk..so alot of guidance towards them is needed,cox they dunn understand wat we're saying,so a lot of time i must emphasis more in action rather than telling them bluntly..haha..therefore,the past 3days wasn't easy at all..haha..but still,i like it alot.. =) still looking for other part time job for weekends or even weekdays too if im able to.. haha..finally tml having a BBQ with my class at sentosa le..hopefully it'll be fun! =) haha..but think will be quite tiring tml..have to rush here and there..zzZZz.. .. kkz la..shall go sleep soon..very tired le... ..*yawns...