*Mugging hard for GCE 'O' Level.. =)

haha..have been studying since last week..will continue to be consistent in my revision for GCE 'O' Level..haha..though its tiring,but i still enjoy the process of studying..i'll really study and work hard..wish me luck! =)

*Graduation Ceremony is really sad..* ='(

hmm..last fri had our Graduation Ceremony for the Sec4E/4(NT) & 5(NA)..it was really sad..although i've been hoping to start a sch new life in poly,but i realise i still cant bear to leave Secondary school life;especially my class,friends and teachers..time really flies without us realising..those times when i was in Sec 1 seems to be like yesterday..haiz.. On the Graduation Ceremony,it start off with the Principal's speech,short video clip of only the 4E but not even a single face of any 5NA,speech by respective Form Teachers and presenting certificate for being part of Queensway for the past 5years,teacher's performance and lastly the Mass Singing(If We Hold On Together)..haha..the teacher's performance is the funniest de..laugh till face red sia..especially Mr and Mrs Wong sang that Malay Song in Chinese Version de..wah peng..laugh till pengx la.. :D then the mass singing was really touching and sad la..told myself not to cry but still..hahaha..but nvr cry until "xi li hua la" la..hahaha! =D cox im the Macho girl! =) when mrs kumar made her speech,was really touching and can really feel the tension that "Oh no,im really leaving the sch liao.." just felt so scared..haiz..when went up to collect the certificate,have a handshake with her first and gave her a hug for the very first time..i told her that i'll miss her when hugging her that time..she say she'll miss me too..wah.. ..at that time was like really sad la..will always remember and keep the little small gift which she gave to everyone of us in the class which means alot to me in good hands..she's really thoughtful la..she spend the whole night to do the gift for us until 1plus in the morning..and she still stay at hougang la..have to wake up early to come to sch..guess she only had 3hrs of sleep??really touched by her thoughtfulness..i guessed she must have spent a lot of money to make the gift for us..the different soft toys which represents each and individual of us,be it in character or behaviour..and the note that she wrote for each and everyone of my class with advise and wishing us luck for our 'O' Level Paper..Thank you Mrs Kumar(Mummy Kumar)! =) Mrs Kumar,I'll miss you! I'll miss your special laughter! I'll miss your English lesson! I'll miss your Art period! I'll miss the time you lecture us! I'll miss the time spent with u! Just simply miss everything that u did for us! I'll miss you badly,Mummy Kumar!!! ='(

*tired~yawns.. .. =O

haha..today went baq to sch as per normal..but its was tiring for me..haha..guess i've spend all my energy to play with my baby nephew and niece..but nevertheless,moments spent with them will never be wasted and i truly enjoyed every minute and seconds with them.. =) hmm..got baq my geo and chem paper..was kinda disappointed with the marks..but i know i've tried my best le..so this results tells me that i still have a lot to work on..so must really work and study hard le..geo-17.5/50,chem-68.5/100(i can do better de..) so here i am at home now..actually intend to study just now..but was too tired and my eyes was really dry and cant seem to open up..hahaha..so watched tv throughout..haha..kkz la..gtg sleep le..goodnight! =)

a fun day! =)

haha..today's my eldest bro de birthday..so he ordered kfc for dinner..yummie!! ;) haha..just nice before the delivery man send over to my place,my cousin(nephew's parents) called me if i wanna join them to go out walk walk..since mooncake festival is so near and can celebrate it..so me and mum tag along with them..haha..another fun and enjoying day..went to boat quay to walk around and see the lightings..its really nice..haha..and my nephew was like so enjoying himself..his smile and laughter just melts my heart..haha..cute,cute and always cute! ;p nxt month is his birthday..so fast going to be 3yrs old le,time really flies..haha..and nxt month will also be O level le..must really work and study hard..did discuss with my cousin bro abt the course im hoping to go to,which is early childhood while we were resting and had mac as supper..he did told me that that's quite a good choice..and told me to strive towards my goal..he gave me a lot of advise and help me in judging this course..and i agreed with wat he said..so must really jia you le..haha.. =) hmm..tml will be another nice and fun day again with them as they ask me to join them for swimming tgt..haha..this time their baby girl(baby niece)will be going too! =) so happy! =) so must go sleep early today and charge my batt to be ready for tml.. =) haha..kkz..stop here le ba..goodnight! =)

my nephew makes me forget all my sorrows.. =)

it has been 2 months plus since i last saw my nephew and played with him..he's really cute la..whenever he call me "gu gu" i feel so happy.. =) dunn get the wrong meaning ok.."gu gu" is aunt in chinese..not that blur blur gu gu meaning hor..hehehe! ;p ytd aft my prelims went to ABC market to meet daddy for lunch..haha..aft that went home bath le then proceed to my little nephew's place at redhill close(i used to live there 4yrs ago)..for the first time seeing him aft such a long time,he've grown taller and cuter..haha..played with him from 4plus till 6plus going 7pm den need to go redhill market de bus stop meet my mum to go home tgt..then i wanted to go off le..when i say "bye bye" to him,he hold on to me..haha..then when my cousin(his parents) ask him if he wanna follow gugu(me) home,he said yes..then we started laughing..so for the first time,i bring him out personally..was kinda scared..i kept holding him tightly when crossing the road..dunn dare to let go..cox he's very active de..haha..then when crossing over the more cars road,i carried him all the way to the bus stop..wah..he has become more chubby liao..quite heavy..carry until my hand muscle aches..haha..then he's really cute la..shall not go till too detailed..haha..but one thing for sure is that he's really the reason that makes me smile..he might be naughty and active,but he's always cute to me..perhaps its becox i've been his "nanny" since he was born..spend so much time taking care of him when he was a baby..so have more feelings towards him that makes us hit it off..haha..just hope he'll always be happy and be a good boy and i'll be happy.. =)

*better future = *put the past away

haha..woke up at abt 9am today..went to had breakfast at ABC market with my mum..aft which took 147 tgt..she needs to go work and im going to bukit merah mac to study alone as usual..haha..did my revision on maths..as im a bit slow in thinking,i was stuck in some of the questions..i tried doing aft problems,but all end up wrong..haiz..that really demoralised me..got so stressed and vexed..so called sista(stanley) to call me using his hse phone if he's free..within 2mins or so,he really called..haha..so fast and efficient..hahaha! =D then we chat chat chat..den aft hang up le,continue doing another 13 short questions then stopped le..studied 3hrs plus le..though didnt do much,but im really too tired to continue.. ytd i had a dream..a dream which surprised me..and i did share it with sista while we were chatting on the phone..haha..dunno why..but the "anonymous" just appeared in my dream..though it was a sweet one..but too bad..hahaha..i've told myself and made a promise to put and throw those unhappy past things away and start a new life again..but this time,no much trust,faith and hope in anyone anymore.. ..just wanna learn to be more protective of myself..dunn forget im the "macho girl"! hahahahahaha!!! xD i dunn denied that sometimes i felt quite a waste..no matter wat..we've been frenz for 10yrs le..haha..but 10yrs of friendship just becox of the sudden changes of many things that result us being like drifted apart..but i guess when its time to let go,we have to..no point holding on some things which is already meaningless le..i've hurt u once..u've hurt me thrice..i guess its time for a full stop... ..i think going separate paths will bring us better future??? =) hahaha..i think im getting more and more temperamental liao..haha..shall stop here ba.. =)

emptiness in me..

haha..know that it has been a long time since i last update my blog..u guys might be able to see or might not see this new post..but anyway..its alright..just wanna write out something..hehe.. =p hmm..today's my end of paper for prelims..though it's already over,but still have less than a month to the actual GCE 'O' level examination..kinda scared though..hope i can get into the course that i really want..dunno why this yr is like so hard for me to really understand and absorb things when learning..it just dunn seems to really get into my brain..or i'll forget very easily and quickly..but no matter wat..must really study hard le..and i mean it..now cant play play or joke le..haha..anw,i've achieved my target for not using the com starting from last sat till end of prelims..and i made it..1week without com..so i guess this is also the target i'll be setting for myself before sitting for my O level.. =) erm..as for now..im feeling kinda empty..haha..weird..but this kinda feeling has always been with me all these whiles..so kinda used to it..but sometimes i really wonder wat exactly am i feeling and why am i feeling this way..say it stress,but it doesnt seem so..but say it not also doesnt seem to be..feeling "fan" also like that..dunn feel "fan" also like that..its like really very xin ku sometimes or maybe i should say most of the time...really feel like crying out loud sometimes..cry out all the unhappy and troubled things i've been keeping to myself for all these yrs..but if u ask me why i cry,i dunno wat to tell u..cox just feel like crying out loud... .. that's me.. .. thinking baq..i've nvr ever been in a relationship..how does it really feel in a relationship i would not know..but to me..it might be a sweet and nice one..there is this guy whereby we almost got together,but did not eventually,to me,is a really perfect guy..helpful,caring towards elderly,shy,nice and funny sometimes is wat i've seen in him..he is very "xi xin" de those type which really makes me have a good impression on him..he was also the first and only guy who some sort like proposed to me for stead on valentine's day,though with the help of friends..cox he has not been through realtionship before,so was not that good in asking..but the way he proposed to me was rather sweet and creative..which really touches me..it is really rare to find someone u really like..becox its two sided love and not one sided love..so was really glad to know that he likes me and i like him too..but even if he've prposed to me,but one that day he did say maybe not that fast..he says wanna be frenz first,but just wanna let me know how he feels towards me..so i agreed to be frenz..we were close that time but aft 2 months later..he tell me grimly that he just wanna remain as frenz..and ever since..he has yet to contact with me again..i was really sad and heart broken..becox he's the only such a nice guy i've met and gave me hope that he can be trusted..but in the end... ..so since then,after meeting 2 similar cases of guys who give me new hope but end up upset me even before this really nice guy i've met,i've really lost faith and confidence in myself and guys..i just dunn trust them or guys anymore..just afraid and scared that i'll be deeply hurt again..so now...i've no more confidence and trust in myself and others..and have a phobia towards stepping into a new realtionship..becox now to me,be it good or bad guys i just cant seem to trust them..will keep thinking of their bad points instead of the goods..perhaps they've hurt me deep within and leave a scar that will always reminds me of the pain i've been through.. .. ... haha..kkz la..talk too much la..just feel like typing out..so...yeah..shall stop here..now my aim is to study and work real hard to prepare for my GCE 'O' Level..wishing u people out there all the best and good luck too! =) take care! ;)